Top of the morning to you all. This is a good one as always. One of my boy’s called me on the other day and said he needed to talk. We met up and he started to tell me about one of his clients and his wife. First when he was younger his dad called him all types of names and told him he wouldn’t amount to much. Well anyway he struggles with self esteem problems. He met his wife and she understood his problem and started to stroke his ego and help build his confidence. Well as time went on the building process stopped and she would just not pay his problem any attention. Well he mentioned it to her and she said she would try to work on it, but of course it never happened. Well he is a investment banker for a large firm in Florida. He told me he has a client that has been calling him and taking him out to lunch thanking him for the return on her investment. He said she compliments him on his cologne, his attire as well as the way he handles business. She has been his client for about six months now. She had a party at her home and invited him and his wife. They went and the two ladies met. He said she complimented him so much in front of his wife that it made him feel kind of weird. Well the next morning she called him and ask to meet him at his office, when they met she told him that she was attracted to him and she felt like his wife didn’t appreciate him. She said while she complimented him at the party last night his wife didn’t say a word and she thought it was weird and she knew the signs. How? She said she made the same mistake with her ex-husband. He told her what he needed and she ignored it and someone else moved in. Now mind you he never told her anything about his issue with his wife she just picked up on it from meeting her one time. O yeah she’s a WHITE chick.
Please help my boy out.
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I am a firm believer in the saying "Life is short" if you aren't happy, I think you should take the route that does make you happy. I would let her know whats happening to the relationship, and if there are no changes I would go for option "B". Its not the same in all situations but if think Im wrong, you are probably that person in your own relationship....lol!
ReplyDeleteOOOO...wifey better get it together!! Cause now she's in competion with a "white chic" don't want to let her in no kinda way if you know what I mean you've heard the stories lol. We are human and will be tempted. He has told her his needs so she needs to get on it. It could be that wifey is no longer interested or attractive and takes the husband for granted. She may feel like she's the reason why he is where is. We know how we get when we feel we're responsible for someones upcomings or success or if we know a person needs us. Now I love to be complimented by my man and when he doesn't it makes me feel that he's not paying any attention. So when another man does it spark up stuff..lol. These are simple things to that should be done in a relationship...
ReplyDeleteWell, in this situation what is it that the man really needs? If you have issues with self esteem, how can anyone else fix that???? He did state in the beginning she did all of these things, but does he need that constantly or did she make him believe in himself more????? Either way, I feel that a broken record needs to be turned off. I definitely take the time to make sure my significant other's ego is stroked..... but only when necessary. Men consistently complain about a woman with low self esteem and how when their needy, their not as attractive. I believe that this guy shouldn't look for reassurance from someone else, and maybe should take the assertive approach and find different ways to build his own self esteem. In the word's of Katt Williams...............it's called SELF esteem. Taking the time to better yourself and not worry about others fulfilling your needs of inadequacy. I'm not bashing....just being real. For example, you can't get mad at someone because they don't help you lose weight, so why should you expect someone else to maintain your self esteem for you. All I can say is. to each his own.
ReplyDeleteHe this is a comment that HWXLENT sent to me to post.
ReplyDeleteOk,let me get this straight.....Daddy didn't hug you & pat you on the back; You grew into a MAN and in spite of what daddy said you are a successful person; You met a woman who most likely recognized these self-esteem issues when she met you & did what she could to hug that 10 year old boy that she saw inside of you when necessary; Now that she has helped "build" you up, you feel you need more building-Question:Is this building ever going to be complete?; So you met a woman who sees the SUCCESSFUL, grown MAN that you are now & she feels it is her responsibility to make sure you know how great you are because she saw right through your sorry wife with her she-ra powers;& you are actually buying this doo doo. I think that sums it up, so here's what I think: Negro PLEASE!!!! You will NEVER find what you are looking for in your wife. NEVER. You HAVE to look in the mirror. Just think about what you're saying: She doesn't tell me my cologne smells good. She doesn't notice my haircut. She doesn't tell me I'm the F-ing best(for all the Drake lovers). Get OVER yourself. Don't get me wrong, EVERYBODY needs to be hugged and encouraged & your spouse should be the first to do that, no doubt. But if you feel those SIMPLE things determine if she loves you or not, or if she cares, you really have some deeper issues. Therapy is always an option. & please don't get caught up in this white chick. & I don't care if she was purple, but he said she's white, so we'll call her the white chick. This broad has already told you she had her opportunity. She's had a husband. & somebody did to her, what she's trying to do to your wife. She sees you in all your glory. Successful, smelling good, nice suit...but she doesn't see the 10 year old, snotty nose boy that your wife saw. She doesn't know about your darkest hour, all she knows is you shinin now. Don't you believe for 1 second that she wants to make her life's purpose to make you feel good. If she didn't see anything in you for her, she wouldn't give a damn about you. Now, I've gone on long enough, but I will close with this: My brother, I had parents who hated themselves, their situations, & sometimes, probably me. You can't live in the past. You will never grow. No relationship will work until you deal with those issues with your father & your past. You probably have a good woman, & obviously you're going through a rough spot, but don't blow your life over a damn compliment. It's time for you to look in the mirror & tell that 10 year old boy that he cannot hang with the grown folks, & send him to his room for infinity.
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HWXLENT just killed my boy. I feel every bit of it though it was so true, man yall are bringing it.
ReplyDeleteDamit all to hell!!! You had all the way until you got to ..."she’s a WHITE chick" in the spirit of Florida Evans with vibrating fist DAYUM DAYUM DAYMEJAMESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteBLACK WOMEN STOP!!!!
You didn't mention that she stopped fucking you though!!!!
Don't let it happen. I hate to insert my brand of racism, but no!!!! Not a white chick!!!! To come in and to re-remind you that you are the man..that man. So now that the pink toe has said it? Now it's really true? AND NOW you believe it!!?, it's all better now?
Stand up. Communicate NEGRO...talk about it and be about it. See her point of view; let her know you are still sad about yourself and that you are the type that needs the constant stroking...
NOW!!!
If she puts her hands on her hips, bends that one leg, and stick the index finger in the air, while slightly swaying her neck and the finger simultaneously...and says to you..." are you fucking kidding me!! You mad because I don't tell you ..you look good and smell good in the mornin and now you wanna go fuck a white girl?!!!" and walks away from you mumbling under her breath..." is that nigga on crack"
continued: she is over you and we as black women collectively don't want your white girl digging ass anyway...picture me walking away mumbling under my breath " is that dude on crack?"
ReplyDelete