Friday, July 16, 2010
"Modern Day Mates"
What's up people! I see we had a good response yesterday on the "Justified" topic. Today I want to rewind and talk about what men and women look for in a mate in modern times. In the 50's through the 80's a man wanted a woman who could cook, clean, bare children and wash clothes. Women wanted man who would go to work and provide for her and the kids and most of all security. Give me what you look for in your mate, what qualities they must have and the ones you can do without.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I was discussing this with a few people the other day and women still want security and a man that can provide but I don’t think men look for a good housewife per se anymore. I think women are much more independent so security today comes in the form of financial security. Long ago, security meant the man had to be able to go out and make a living through physical labor and be able to maintain the house (i.e. making repairs, maintaining the lawn), in addition to providing food for his family. It’s fine if my man knows how to fix things and maintain a lawn, but most women know how to do these things too. Men today, like women, are taught to focus on education and being able to make sure they can be financially secure and achieve other life goals. Growing up, my dad maintained the yard, fixed anything around the house that broke and washed my mom’s car along with making minor repairs. Most men can’t do these things anymore and I’m ok with that if you’re truly busy making sure our family is financially secure and you’re not neglecting to do those things because you’re lazy. If you have to pay someone to mow the lawn, fine. But don’t be at home, jobless, watching the grass get high when you COULD be out there doing it yourself. Bottom line, it’s all about balance. Gone are the days where there is such a thing as women or men’s work. We both should work to maintain the household.
ReplyDelete-Janelle Payne
As a young single black woman raised by parents who are very old school I do desire some of the same qualities that women desired back in the day. When thinking or in my case praying for whomever the King is I ask that he first have a huge love and passion for Christ-if my man of God loves Christ I know he will love me, secondly I ask that the King be financially stable-you need to be able to live (provide) a comfortable life(equal to or greater than the life my dad has given me) not worried about how bills will be paid. Next I ask that he have a personality, can engage in a mind-stimulating conversation, be family oriented I want four children and I love my family so he must want a large family. While I am not up for the stay at home drop kids every nine months thing, I do think it’s important to provide a meal daily whether you cook it or not for your man that’s our role as a woman (sorry ladies but that’s my opinion). I also think as women we must learn our role as a woman and be more submissive, and that doesn’t mean be a door mat but it does mean allowing your spouse to be the head and you allowing yourself to come into compliance with the direction God have given him concerning the family. I guess all of the criteria that I’ve listed and these are only a few of the many are geared towards my King (i.e. Husband). I don’t waste time getting involved in casual relationships that will do nothing but create a soul-tie and hinder the Kings arrival. I’m not willing to compromise on any of the qualities I desire in a mate unless Jesus himself tells me other wise but for right now his promises are YES and AMEN and I do believe as long as I continue to align myself properly with him he will give me the desires of my HEART!!
ReplyDelete-Andrea Parker
I still say that women want and need security in a relationship. However, it's a new day. - Out with that old kitchen, cleaning, barefoot and pregnant stuff. Women now aday are self sufficeient and independent - yet not complete without their soulmate.With that being said, what I think a woman is seeking or shoul be seeking along with security is character, committment, and responibility.
ReplyDeleteCharacter - 1st and farmost does this man love God- (b/c men come with so many emotional issues theses days; is he whole?) It has always been my belief that if he does love God he will know how to love me the way I need to be loved.
2nd - Is he honest, is he a person of integrity?
3rd - How does he treat others?
4th - Is he caring and kind?
etc.
Committment - Is he committed to anything, if so, to what level
(it will help you determine if he can be committed to you)
Responsible - Is he responsible
-does he pay his bills- on time (security)
-How does he take care of his possessions
- If he has children - how does he treat them????? BIG ONE!!!!
-Johnnie Edwards
I to believe that times have changed and what men and women look for these days in a mate are not those of our parents and grandparents. I have 3 sisters and I am the only boy that my mom had and the oldest I might add. When I was younger I had the responsibility of taking care of my younger sisters while my mom worked. That meant cooking, cleaning, ironing clothes, washing clothes as well has cutting grass, fixing sinks cars exc… you name it I did it. Me having to do all these things and having the know how made it really hard in my choice for a wife. Why? Because all of the things that I was told by my uncle’s that were a woman’s duty or responsibility in a marriage I already knew how to do. Or they would say you have to have a woman to do this. As I got older I realized that I didn’t need a woman to do all these so called “ woman duties” because more than likely I could do them better than they could. Which made me more marketable(wink wink). When I was looking for a wife my goal was to find someone who I could help complete their life and them mine. I wasn’t looking for a world class vacuum champion or a women who would put a dry cleaning company to shame. She didn’t have to be a great cook or any of the other ridiculous “women duty’’ BS. I wanted her to be GOD fearing but real and willing to know that life isn’t always good. I wanted someone who knew that I had flaws but was willing to work on them. I needed someone whom I could build a life with and memories at the same time. I only had a few MUST in there, a well dressed woman is probably the main thing I must have at all times, shoe game must be at best at all times. She must take pride in her hair long or short, I love prissy women and last but not lest at all she has to be SUPER FREAK!!!!
ReplyDelete-LL