Monday, June 29, 2009
"Back Up Plan"
I had a chance to sit down with a good friend of mine over the weekend and we discussed an array of topics. The one that stood out to me the most is, how do you know that your mate didn’t just settle for you . It’s weird but have you ever thought to yourself why he or he or she chose me? He was telling me that sometimes he feels like his mate was just ready to be married she was feeling him and loved him but he sometimes feels that he isn’t that guy that she really had in mind. He was like sometimes I feel kind of foolish because I walk around with my chest out thing I’m all that because I got her, not knowing if I was just a backup plan. I mean she says she’s attracted to me, she says I’m what she always wanted, I’m handsome and all that but how do I know I’m that guy who can make you weak at the sound of my voice or just my presents turns u on. WOW!! It was way deeper than I can put in words but.. How do you know or is there a way to know if your just a backup plan or you’re the only plan and you weren’t just settled for?
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I wasn't ready for this $*@^ this morning. Now you got me thinking, LOL! all I can say is that you really have to communicate with your mate. What are his goals, dreams, aspirations? Do you fit into the plan he has. If he knows what he is looking for in a mate and you fit the description then you should not have any problems. Why guess or worry yourself about it unless you were given a reason to? But iagain it all starts with communication. Was there a relationship immediately before you two began yours? Were you the rebound chick? You should know!
ReplyDeleteI wonder this all the time. I'm a firm beleiver that you can love more than one person in a lifetime so how do you know if someone is really who you were meant to be with for a lifetime. I've met several that could've filled that spot but it boiled down to who was willing to do what it took to keep me for a lifetime. The person who loved me when I was me (all levels and versions of me), and the person that didn't stop loving me when things got tough is who I chose. Now with that said, I think for some people, things change and it is possible that people grow apart. You cant predict someone's path in life and sometimes people endure things that take them in a different direction than the one originally planned. I would just say to your friend to look at how he and his wife connect on all levels. Marriage is work and it is a challenge to remain relevant in someone's life as he/she continues to grow. A relationship isn't meant for us to get along and like the same things all the time. There will be some days you love and hate each other more than anything. At the end of the day, it has to be that your partner is the one you'd rather be with no matter what.
ReplyDeleteThis is Keisha.
ReplyDeleteOh my!! I must admit that this is a good one, and I must also admit that I have never thought that I might be someone's "back up plan." When I have thought back over the different relationships that I have had, there have been some people that I, at the time, just knew would be my life partners. Things seemed great and I could not imagine there being anyone else. However, as I look back and realize what I had then and knowing clearly that that is not what I am blessed with now, it makes me grateful that God saw for me a "back up plan." Everyone wants to be first: first in line for goods and services, when we were kids, we wanted to be the first one picked to be on the winning team, but who says that being number two is all bad. I mean, if you have had the opportunity to have the "number one choice" and it did you like crap, then being number two is heaven -- being number one was just geography! Think of it this way, everyone and I do mean everyone who is an ex-partner is an ex for a reason. One of my exboyfriends told me that and it was a great leason to learn (and now I see why he is also an "ex" of mine). Long story short: let the past stay in the past; that is where it belongs and often times going through number one only makes you appreciate number two all the more.
I totally agree with Keisha!
ReplyDeleteKeisha said it all...no comment after her!
ReplyDelete