Thursday, June 25, 2009
"Detour"
Good day people. I have been wondering this for a while now. Why is it that some women wear a ring on their wedding finger and they aren’t married or engaged? I mean isn’t it the hope and dream of a woman to be married one day? If so why would you pretend or use a ring as a “detour”. Check it I hear so many conversations between women about having problems finding a good man and how they want a good faithful man honest and true. Auh how do you expect to find someone or someone to find you and you have a ring on your wedding finger? Wake up that crap isn’t working, well let me take that back it works for the ones you don’t need because they don’t have any respect for the marriage that they think your in anyway so you know he’s not a good candidate. Seriously though think about it, your at walmart a guy sees you he’s checking you out and about to make a move and approach you then he sees the ring and he proceeds to do his shopping thinking man she’s married. But your not it’s a detour for the bad men right, no fool the bad ones still approach you they don’t care they just trying to hit and run. The good ones keep going because that ring is a symbol of marriage. Women miss out on a lot of good men because of this practice, you have to make yourself approachable ladies. Any good man, you know the one you want, he’s not going to approach you with a ring on, not bragging I have had women come up to me from the past asking why I didn’t say anything to them and my reply is “ I saw the sign that said detour so I took it” and the ask what sign? Ladies there is only room for one wedding ring on that little finger if it’s one there already there isn’t room for the man of your dreams to put another one. So why ladies, what’s the point in the “Detour”?
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Before I got married, I wouldn't wear even fashion rings on that finger. I wanted it known that I was single. I've seen people do that and I think its absurd. I don't think there is any woman that fine that needs to have such a detour as you put it and if she is, like you said, the bad ones will still approach you because they don't care what your situation is. Since having a ring on my finger, I actually get approached more now than before. I don't know if its that I give off a I don't want/need a man vibe so that's why or what. So can you answer that question LL...why do men hit on women who are married?
ReplyDeleteWell ole Nelly lol!! Let me tell you when I was single I use to hint on married women because I heard all the stories about how husbands treated their wives and not pleasing them and all so I thought I need to be the one to please them. Stupid I know. Also I didn’t have to worry about them wanting to spend time, I didn’t have to answer to her, all I had to do is drop that Grade A Certified Beef and be out. Most men look at it that way she’s married and won’t have time to be calling and trying to find my where abouts. Also we try to see if we got what it takes to get a married woman’s attention, because if the married ones are digging me I know the single ones got to love me.
ReplyDeleteThis is Shaquana.
ReplyDeleteWoooooow, is that what ya'll really think? That's crazy. But I can agree that men hit on women regardless. I was VERY pregnant, & was still approached. But in my experience, most of them don't even look for a ring, they just jump right in. When they approach me, the first question is are you married. When they get the no, the next question is, Do you have a man. If you say, "I'm married", a lot of them, like LL(was), don't care. & they definitely don't care if you have a man. But I don't get the whole wearing a fake wedding ring thing. I wear all kinds of jewelry. & I have a ring that looks like an engagement/wedding ring, but I never thought about it like that until some of my friends made comments. I just thought it was fly. I don't wear it often, but when I wear it, it's never with the intent to make someone think I'm married. I don't see the point in lying to strangers. I don't have time for that. When they ask the first two questions & get a no, the next one is, well can I be your man, or can I get your number, & if I don't want to talk, I don't have any problem saying NO. I don't know any of these women LL, but I would love to know how they rationalize it. I don't get it. JUST SAY NO.
I think this may be the wrong blog for that question because of the calibur of women on here. But as I think about it, I was in a long distance relationship once and the guy suggested I get a fake wedding ring so I would not be approached by other men. I did it and it worked but it was because of his insecurities I did that. I really think mature women who are looking for Mr. Right would possibly scare him away because respectfully he would not approach her. He would move on. Mr. Wrong however, don't give a damn!
ReplyDeleteLike Shaquana, I wore a ring on my wedding finger before marriage because I had a fashionable ring my parents bought me during my teen years. I never had any issues with guys approaching me when I wore it. I was honest and stated I was not married and if the conversation was intriguing enough, we would proceed to the "getting to know each other" zone.
ReplyDeleteSince I have married, I get more men trying to
give me their card to call them than ever, which is amazing to me. Suddenly, I AM available because I am attached?
I think we all know 4th finger left hand is typically for the wedding band, but honesty plays a big part in how you handle the whole thing. If wearing a ring on the wedding finger is a "detour" for someone, they are "just not that interested" in the person to go find out if they are indeed attached or not. You don't know anything unless you either research it or simply ASK!